You are dreaming -- palm trees and big ants -- while I think of you, sleepwalking -- our mirror like iris reflected upon our expanded yet convergent looks and smiles sparkling, billowing, puffing inside my soft consumed brains. I felt your arms around my armpits, lifting me up and high on yours knees around my ankles. My oath goes 'I'll be your slave on which you shall rely on until death do us part.' You might be as far as it seems but I can feel your presence. My smile broadened to such extremes it hurt. 'It's already gone. Time bends to do as I say and I say "present!"! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!' I lost it. Where is it? I want my smile back! Give it to me! No!
The bus stole it from me. You were in there. You died in there! The last time I saw you, my whole being died and I'm still dealing with it today. I can't even possibly think of any means to describe it. I wish I could forget things so badly because it hurt so much.
On the plane, on my way back, I cried literally my heart out! I died on wine to forget my home friends were already in my arms -- strangers, enemies and new reasons to become even more paranoid in a world that I could not belong to any more. I lied to you and I still do when I tell you I'm fine. My arms and soul beg you to come back to me to make me feel the energy of life again. We were God! We could be anything. We were invincible and handsome. Our past life is cursed and revive once a year in flesh and flames chained to the ultimate tablet on which it says 'You're broken now!' in terrible gold capital letters to die again yet conscious enough to feel the pain to come again.