[When realizing
everything you know is less than everything you have to learn -- a
striking and thriving ambition growing inside your whole integrity as
a holy ghost seeking Time & Space anywhere and anytime -- you
fall asleep with waking nightmares.]
[My thoughts can only
expand to reach dark and bright extremes these days. My soul speaks
words of light while my body cling to the pain of days that never
change. I need an adventure outside of life to seek Life itself. The
only way to freedom is through everyday life restraints and flaws. I
need to understand what impulse my heart gets when my blood
materialize into armies shouldering their way through my veins. I
need to feel my body completely and concentrate to catch a glimpse of
reality.]
[Ambition is tricky. You
sleepwalk with sounds emanating from your dried lips in the middle of
the night after the cathedral's bells chimed. You whisper words
unknown to any living creature. You mumble and groan and thunder your
secrets to yourself with a frustration never felt before. Whether you
find a way to shape your thoughts and words and life or not, you
can't help but withdraw yourself from the outside world. The words
confined in your head you call soul shrink and run away from you.
What if writing was a mistake? What if the solution could not be
spoken until I find my target. I cannot believe in my writing with no
hunting like images but I lack the maturity and the manhood to
express myself the way I want people to see me the way I am. I let
the masks fall.]
[It seems a bit of an
answer is writing itself, yet, without me willing to let it free –
even for me to understand the bits and pieces set free outside my own
head. It feels like a neverending symphony with cords vibrating and
burning under arches too heavy to let go off the tempo of a majestic
pulse. It's all about someone's heart beating.]